SEED 4 ~ Armor

“For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the forces of evil in the heavens.” -Ephesians 6:12

Stage Fright

The tiny hairs on the nape of my neck stood at attention. My cold and clammy palms twitched rhythmically. My chest felt burdened as if it might suffocate under the pressure of the mound of escalating, odious emotion. I’d seen this side of myself before. It had appeared on several other occasions when Fear had shown up at the door and barged his way in. He’d curled up beside me,along with his twin brother Intimidation who’d slipped in almost unnoticed. He put his feet up on the coffee table beside my teaching notes.

He stared at them.

I stared at him.

Then his eyes caught mine long enough for him to see
behind their glassy surface and deep into the depths of my heart. The smirk curling at the end of his crooked jaw made me look away, ashamed.

Now he knew for sure he’d gotten to me, just like he did the last time.

As if on cue, Fear took off his coat and sauntered across the room to hang it on the hook in the corner. He kicked off his shoes and then cracked his knuckles like a pianist limbering up for a masterful musical rendition. He grabbed my hand and intertwining my fingers into his, he whispered, “We’re here to stay a while.”

I hung my head. I couldn’t believe they were here. Again. Like the pushy guests they are, Fear and Intimidation had invited themselves over. I felt violated; yet as always, I was too upset to realize the power I had to send them away.

That was the way this saga always played out for me, and their intrusions were getting worse. These visitors didn’t show up on rare occasion anymore, like in-laws popping over for a surprise visit during the holidays. They’d moved in, carrying all the baggage that guests like these always do.

This time, as I sat there, slowly sinking into an oversized sofa tucked in a dimly lit green room just off stage, they refused to realize that they’d long worn out their welcome.

Some have called this stage fright. I call it sheer terror.

I had prepared a message to deliver to the 2,000+ women who had gathered, and I could hear the group roar with laughter and applause as they prepared to receive me. This was a great group, sitting on the edge of their seats ready to hear from God. Yet I was nothing short of terrified to walk out on the platform. My stomach churned like the old ice cream maker my momma would pull out on hot summer days. My legs wobbled, and my breath became shallow. The knot in my throat was so tightly strung I thought it’d take a clever magician to unravel it.

I was sure that my normally booming voice would never reach clarity once I stepped in front of these precious women. To be honest, I didn’t know for sure that I wouldn’t make a run for it once that solitary beam of the spot light illumined my presence in the otherwise blackened auditorium.

(Note to self: Check for the nearest exits.)

I saw a survey somewhere that said people feared public speaking more than death itself, I laughed the first time I read it. I couldn't fathom the notion of someone volunteering for the guillotine just to avoid facing a spotlight and a crowd. Now, somehow, I was fully convinced. I’d opt for the noose.

This event marked a series of similar instances over the course of six months during which I endured the most grueling battle against fear I have faced in my life. At this point, I’d been a speaker for almost a decade, and yet someway, somehow, fear had begun to grip me with an unfamiliar intensity.

At first I thought I’d just get over it, but then time passed and I realized that this mountain was both too high and too steep for even the most skilled climber to scale. I called a mentor for direction. He wisely informed me that this kind of fear (the kind that refuses to leave) was not a mere emotion to deal with but a spiritual stronghold to demolish. Unless I fought for my freedom, I’d find the bondage would only continue.

I prepared for war and went to the battlefield in spiritual armor. Scripture became my offensive weapon to fight against the enemy of my soul for territory he was trying to desperately to win. The lies that were paralyzing me had to be replaced by God’s truth. I literally spoke God’s Word to myself until I changed my own mind.

I was tired of Fear and Intimidation ringing my doorbell at all hours of the day or night and leaving their footprints across my floor. The more I struggled, the more I realized they were on assignment from an enemy who’s always been working to keep me from my God-given destiny. The enemy wanted the guillotine for God’s destiny for my life.

And he wants the same for you.

He seeks to get you so comfortable keeping house with his two favorite intruders that you’ll be too busy keeping up with them to notice what they’re keeping from you. Without recognizing the demonic strategy, many of us shrink back in despair and allow Fear and Intimidation to have their way with us.

Before we know it, we have abandoned our calling and traded in the abundant life for a mundane one.

It’s time to send these unwanted guests packing. They may still knock, but we can refuse to let them in. No more stage fright for us. We’re walking onto the center stage of God’s will — smack dab in the middle of God’s purpose.

This doesn’t mean we won’t have butterflies anymore. It does mean now they’ll at least fly in formation. We’ve got new guests to entertain. The Competence and Adequacy that come directly from God’s Spirit (2 Cor. 3:5-6) are ready to make our
acquaintance. No more excuses, and no more fear. I’m ready for God’s best. You too? Then quit standing back there looking for the nearest exit. Get moving! The stage of God’s plan is divinely lit just for you, and a crowd of people need what you’re offering.

Discussion Questions:
Background Scripture: Ephesians 6:10-18

1. Sometimes we live as if the enemy doesn't exist. In what areas of your life have you let down your guard?
2. In what ways have you noticed the enemy trying to thwart your progress lately?
3. What do you think he is trying to keep you from accomplishing?
4. Consider the armor of God passage (Eph 6) and contemplate how each piece can be used practically in the life of a believer.

Answer a few of the questions by posting a comment